Concerning the End of the World Again
by LadyDivine91
Summary: When Crowley shows up for his picnic with Aziraphale in serpent form and refuses to change into human, Aziraphale fears the worst. Aziraphale x Crowley


"Oh, there you are! I was wondering when you were planning to show," Aziraphale says, greeting the long black serpent slithering onto his picnic blanket like it's an old friend.

Namely, because it is.

His oldest and dearest friend.

And, as of recently, his _husband_.

"Where have you been? I was getting worried." Aziraphale side-eyes the serpent, waiting for it to stealthily change into human form. But it doesn't, winding carefully through the jars of jam and honey, the plates of bread and cheese he'd set out. "Uh … is there a reason you've chosen not to transform?" He waits for the snake to give him a sign of acknowledgement. When it doesn't, Aziraphale chalks it up to his husband's temperamental nature (he is a _demon,_ after all), and continues the conversation alone. "Well, if you don't, you're going to miss out! I've gotten a few pears from a local vendor, apples, some fresh strawberries ... I took the liberty of sampling a few, and they're all scrumptious!"

The serpent pauses momentarily, tilting its head as if struggling with a decision. Whatever the options, it chooses to tuck itself beneath Aziraphale's knee. From beneath the shelter of the angel's leg, it pokes its head out, tongue flicking to taste the air. A sensation of dread creeps into Aziraphale's chest, latches on with hooks, and stays there.

"Wh-what … what's going on, Crowley? What's the matter?" He looks about, stretching his own mental feelers, searching for anything not quite right in the area. Of course, if someone was going to detect something _not quite right_, it would be Crowley, his serpent form the best way to keep tabs on it.

Months ago, they'd both been able to convince their 'powers that be' to leave them alone, but how long would that last? Aziraphale naively hoped forever, but Crowley is a cynic. If his assumptions are correct, their brief time of peace was a stop-gap - a calm before a storm of epic proportions.

Greater than Satan himself clawing out of the ground? Apparently.

"H-have you heard anything from … you know …?" Aziraphale subtly points down, but the serpent, eyes locked on a point in the distance, neither confirms nor denies. Aziraphale watches, breath held, overly wary of its cautious behavior. He finds himself suddenly dubious of everyone – the ice cream seller, an older married couple, a little girl riding her trike, a corgi rummaging through the bushes for a ball. It may seem ridiculous, but if the events of the Notpocalypse have taught him anything, it's that their enemies could be hiding anywhere, could be anyone. "If you have, you're right to remain hidden. Best to stay under the radar, as they say."

Aziraphale is uncertain which would be less conspicuous – a distinguished man dressed as stylishly as he sharing an intimate picnic lunch with a man who looks like a rock star, or this right big snake?

Either way, it doesn't matter to him. As long as they're together.

Truth be told, Aziraphale is quite fond of Crowley's serpent form.

Maybe he could try his hand at shapeshifting next time. But what would he become? A dove? Mmm, no. Aziraphale loved doves, but that seemed a bit too on the nose. A cat? A sleek, dignified, yet fluffy Persian? Or a Siamese – all cream coat and stunning blue eyes? Ooo, a Russian blue!

But he's not sure Crowley fancies cats. Would he want one following him about, or perched on his shoulder, shedding fur onto his clothes?

Probably not.

A dog? Yes, Crowley might prefer a dog. A big, strong, strapping dog - something along the lines of a hellhound, Aziraphale assumes, but he can't picture himself that way. Not as a menacing beast with glowing red eyes and sharp teeth. But he's sure he can get Crowley to compromise. Maybe he could be a feisty little Scottish terrier in a smart tartan coat, as long as he also agrees to wear something more Crowley-esque – like a spiky, leather collar. _That_ would surely suit the both of them.

It was actually rather exciting now that he'd given it proper thought.

"I haven't heard anything either," Aziraphale affirms, though whether Crowley said he had or not, he doesn't know. Aziraphale can't speak to Crowley in his snake form. He can't speak to snakes at all. Or any animal. Though he did feel a spiritual connection to an owl once back in the 16th century. Rupert, he called it. Regardless, he believes that what he and Crowley have is deeper – a connection that allows him to infer what his other half is thinking, even when those thoughts are wrapped inside the labyrinthine mind of a serpent.

"Honeymoon's over, I guess, hmm?" Aziraphale says with a forlorn sigh, gazing at the world around him – the world he _loves_ – with bittersweet affection. "I know you've had suspicions about a battle to come, I just … I didn't think it would happen so soon. I thought we'd have more time." He runs a hand gingerly down the neck of the snake, chuckling to himself. "Listen to me. _More_ time. We've known one another for six thousand years! If the end is coming, I guess I should be grateful for the time we've had." The snake rests its head on his thigh and seems to sigh as well – not in defeat, but more like sympathy. Knowing Crowley, he already has plans – escape to the stars, other planets, alternate dimensions. Crowley will know a way out of this. He'll know what to do. And they'll be fine, provided things work according to plan. But what about the world? Aziraphale wants to spend forever with Crowley, but something has never sat quite right with him about abandoning this world to do it. "We've been walking the middle ground for so long, Crowley. And I will admit, even if I didn't show it, I always feared one day it would end. I don't want that day to be now. Not now. Not yet." He bends as best he can in an awkward position to lean close to the serpent, and the serpent rises to meet him. Aziraphale cups it under what he assumes is its 'chin' and rubs it's snout with his nose. It's scaly and cold, nothing like the warmth of his husband's skin, but it's comforting nonetheless. "But whatever happens, we're in this together. You and I, till the day we …" The rest gathers at the back of the angel's throat, huddled in a lump, refusing to come out "… well, you know. But I want you to know, I'm not leaving you without a fight. Not ever. Because … well, because I love you, Crowley. I do. I should have said it a million times – the very moment I knew. But I'm saying it now, every day, as a matter of fact. I love you. I love you, I love you, I love …"

"Aziraphale? What on Earth are you doing?"

Aziraphale stops talking. His eyes go wide. He stares questioningly at the snake in front of him. If he didn't know better, he would swear it shrugs.

"Crowley?" He sits up, hand still cupping the serpent's chin, and sees his husband – human form Crowley – standing before him. His jaw drops, the apples of his cheeks glowing a jasper red, brighter than twin stoplights, especially since the rest of his color has drained clear away. "Wha-?" Aziraphale looks at the black snake sitting beside him on the blanket, the one he's been talking to for the past half hour, then back up at Crowley, who's taken on a rather defensive stance – arms crossed, hip cocked, glaring behind his dark glasses at his angel's offending hand. Aziraphale pulls his hand away and swallows hard.

"Th-this isn't what it looks like."

* * *

_"Let me not to the marriage of true minds  
Admit impediments. Love is not love  
Which alters when it alteration finds,  
Or bends with the remover to remove:  
O no; it is an ever-fixed mark,  
That looks on tempests, and is never shaken;_

"Ah, Shakespeare …" Aziraphale hugs the leather-bound book to his chest, gazing down the length of the sofa he's on to the serpent lying by his socked feet, coiled against the cold. "In thousands of years, I've never had the pleasure of reading works by anyone who could do poetry such justice. Don't you agree?"

The serpent raises its head, gives a little nod, then rests it on the angel's ankle, exhaling in contentment.

"Hmm, I do agree. I do agree. So where were we? Ah …"

"Are you reading him _sonnets_?" Crowley snaps when he walks in and catches his husband curled up on the couch beside the creature he has affectionately begun calling _his son_.

"_He_ listens," Aziraphale replies, going back to the book and turning the page, "unlike _some_ people."

"You forget, I was there the first go round." Crowley grabs a glass and a full bottle of wine from the desk nearby. "Wasn't too impressed then, either. Why are you letting him stay here anyway?"

"He followed me home, Crowley! I can't just put him out! That would be cruel! Besides, I don't understand why you're so upset! It's not like I …" Aziraphale cuts himself short and looks up from his book. "Wait a minute …" A small smile dances at the corners of his mouth, not easily noticed by one unaccustomed to being teased by an angel. But Crowley's seen it a thousand times "… you're not still upset about …?"

"Yes! Yes, I am!" Crowley miracles the cork from the wine and drinks straight from the bottle, bypassing the glass clutched in his other hand. "I find it offensive that you can't tell a common black snake from your own husband!"

"I'm sorry, my dear, but at first glance, you two _do_ look strikingly similar."

"Oi! Oi!" Crowley points at his angel, stuck for a comeback strong enough to express his displeasure.

"Also, it's a large, black snake, Crowley! Those aren't all that common in these parts! How was I supposed to know it wasn't you? Do you know the odds? Really …"

"That doesn't excuse the fact that you were getting all lovey-dovey with …!"

"… something that I thought was you!" Aziraphale closes his eyes in frustration and shakes his head. "But don't worry," he says, waving away his husband's ire with a flick of his hand. "I promise not to fall into the same trouble I got into with the last snake that followed me home."

"Is that so?" Crowley grumps, searching under the sofa and around the stacks of books for the offending bugger. "You have a whole harem of snakes hanging around here, do you?"

"Nope. Just the one."

"Ah. So tell me, Aziraphale - what happened to _him_, eh?"

The angel and the serpent, thick as thieves at this point, look at a put-off Crowley, wearing matching smug smirks. "I _married_ him."


End file.
